Hail to Commander-in-Chief ZenGambler

Long ago he was named the ZenMaster. Before that his former Knick teammates referred to him as Head and Shoulders. It was the 70’s after all. Some of his current almost-too-young-to-shave-players call him P.J. Occasionally, one of his fiercest competitors, former coach, now ESPN analyst, and still-hasn’t-beaten-him-in-the-playoffs-yet Jeff Van Gundy, mockingly labels him as Big Chief Triangle. In Montana during high school he was Bones. Whatever the nickname: Action Jackson, the Mop, or the Human Coat Hanger – there is one undeniable moniker this former hippie maverick has earned – the best NBA coach ever.
Okay, this should be easy… Can you name him?
Who is Phil Jackson, Alex?
Yeah. Phil Jackson indeed.
The mystical roundball sage, well known and world famous as the game’s best coach, is the most successful bench conductor since the late great Boston Celtic coach and outspoken Jackson critic Red Auerbach. Only Phil has as many championships as legendary Red, who dominated the game while stoking his stinky stogies along the sideline. He blew plenty of smoke into the rafters while hoisting up trophies in arenas everywhere.
Who is Phil Jackson, Alex?
Yeah. Phil Jackson indeed.
The mystical roundball sage, well known and world famous as the game’s best coach, is the most successful bench conductor since the late great Boston Celtic coach and outspoken Jackson critic Red Auerbach. Only Phil has as many championships as legendary Red, who dominated the game while stoking his stinky stogies along the sideline. He blew plenty of smoke into the rafters while hoisting up trophies in arenas everywhere.
Red's image was synonymous with the NBA for decades. Today, most NBA coaches are practically anonymous.
Outside of maybe Pat Riley, Auerbach, Jackson and a few others I’d bet most people do not even know the name of a single coach in the NBA. Quick, name the coach of the defending 2007 world champion San Antonio Spurs. Give up? Time. His name is Gregg Popovich. That’s right, even though straight-laced Coach Pop is one helluva good coach and his Spurs have won four rings, he isn’t nearly as famous or successful as best selling author, kooky oddball, and commercial pitchman Coach Jackson.
Jackson has become a coaching icon. And quite an eccentric one at that too.
Phil has several eclectic interests ranging from film, literature, traveling, politics, to spas and spirituality. His unique blend of Eastern philosophies, Native American traditions, and hippy demeanor mixed with his strict Pentecostal upbringing is legendary. He's known to burn sage in a locker room to fend off bad spirits during losing streaks. The technique is called smudging, which is the burning of certain herbs like sage, cedar, and sweetgrass to create a cleansing smoke bath that purifies the space.
Phil has several eclectic interests ranging from film, literature, traveling, politics, to spas and spirituality. His unique blend of Eastern philosophies, Native American traditions, and hippy demeanor mixed with his strict Pentecostal upbringing is legendary. He's known to burn sage in a locker room to fend off bad spirits during losing streaks. The technique is called smudging, which is the burning of certain herbs like sage, cedar, and sweetgrass to create a cleansing smoke bath that purifies the space.
Whoa, that's groovy, dude.
And by the way, politically, he says he’s backing Barack Obama. That could be good news for Obama, because Phil knows a winner when he sees one.
He jokes that he prefers not coaching All-Star games anymore. Even though the Lakers currently do not have the best record in the West, Phil responded to questions about whether he’d like to coach in the All-Star game by saying, "Well, it's an honor representing your team. But God help me if I have to go to the All-Star game. I really wouldn't want to do that. There are a lot of young coaches. It would be great to see them there. I think I have reservations somewhere, a place to relax and retreat during that period of time.” Coach went on to say, "But Kobe (Bryant) told me a week ago that, ‘we’re going to send you there regardless.’ So, I'm trying to do my best to stay on top of it."
Phil usually gets what he wants so chances are he won’t be coaching in New Orleans over the All-Star weekend and Obama will be President. And if I were a betting man, I’d wager that the ZenMaster will be enjoying a nice sabbatical filled with rub downs, mud baths, and meditative sunsets at his favorite spa, the Golden Door Spa & Resort in Escondido with girlfriend and Lakers owner Jerry Buss' daughter Jeanne Buss. I hear the spa is spectacular. As in spectacularly expensive.
Some say the nature of being an NBA coach is a lot like being President of the United States. And if this is true then Phil Jackson is Franklin D. Roosevelt. They share many similarities. For example, the NBA doesn’t have a 22nd Amendment, so just like FDR, Jackson isn’t hamstrung by term limits like good ol’ Bubba Clinton, but I’m sure he relates to Slick Willie a little bit because, just like Hillary, his girl, Jeanne, is also poised to someday be President of the… Lakers.
Presidents have voters; coaches have fans and both positions are subject to public opinion. The only thing that matters more than public opinion are results. Phil gets results big time. He changes opinions by his deeds. Coaches are not measured by elections or votes they are measured by wins, playoff appearances, and bling. Championship rings. And Phil owns tons of hardware. His diamond rings are forever. His rock collection is so bright the bling could blind Paris Hilton.
In 2008, one-of-a-kind Coach Jackson is serving long into his fifth term after leading generations of players to 9 NBA titles. Just like Roosevelt, he too has resided over the Greatest Generation of all time – the Chicago Bulls. And now, he has his perky young Los Angeles Lakers seemingly assembled for a deep run into the Western Conference playoffs and beyond.
He magically ridded himself of Kwame “The Pink Hole” Brown with help from much maligned but recently resurrected Lakers GM Mitch Kupchick when the former North Carolina Tar Heel pulled off The Spanish Acquisition - Pao Gasol.
Ole' Mitch! That was one Pao-erful move. Badump bump.
I already hear Jackson’s deep bellow, “Fresh water for my horses, and paella for all my men.”
For years, critics have claimed Coach Jackson was too impatient and could never build a team from the ground up or turn around perennial losers like Larry Brown. Well, there’s no one like Coach Brown and newsflash - when he's won, he's had talent. All great coaches need great players. Period.
There is a grain of truth to the fact that Jackson became head coach of the Bulls after owner Jerry Reinsdorf assembled all the players and of course he signed on with the Lakers after former Laker GM Jerry West pulled off the Shaq deal. But to me, his career choices show that in reality, Phil is a good judge of talent, knows what he does best, and is smart enough to choose how to be in the right place at the right time.
Phil usually gets what he wants so chances are he won’t be coaching in New Orleans over the All-Star weekend and Obama will be President. And if I were a betting man, I’d wager that the ZenMaster will be enjoying a nice sabbatical filled with rub downs, mud baths, and meditative sunsets at his favorite spa, the Golden Door Spa & Resort in Escondido with girlfriend and Lakers owner Jerry Buss' daughter Jeanne Buss. I hear the spa is spectacular. As in spectacularly expensive.
Some say the nature of being an NBA coach is a lot like being President of the United States. And if this is true then Phil Jackson is Franklin D. Roosevelt. They share many similarities. For example, the NBA doesn’t have a 22nd Amendment, so just like FDR, Jackson isn’t hamstrung by term limits like good ol’ Bubba Clinton, but I’m sure he relates to Slick Willie a little bit because, just like Hillary, his girl, Jeanne, is also poised to someday be President of the… Lakers.
Presidents have voters; coaches have fans and both positions are subject to public opinion. The only thing that matters more than public opinion are results. Phil gets results big time. He changes opinions by his deeds. Coaches are not measured by elections or votes they are measured by wins, playoff appearances, and bling. Championship rings. And Phil owns tons of hardware. His diamond rings are forever. His rock collection is so bright the bling could blind Paris Hilton.
In 2008, one-of-a-kind Coach Jackson is serving long into his fifth term after leading generations of players to 9 NBA titles. Just like Roosevelt, he too has resided over the Greatest Generation of all time – the Chicago Bulls. And now, he has his perky young Los Angeles Lakers seemingly assembled for a deep run into the Western Conference playoffs and beyond.
He magically ridded himself of Kwame “The Pink Hole” Brown with help from much maligned but recently resurrected Lakers GM Mitch Kupchick when the former North Carolina Tar Heel pulled off The Spanish Acquisition - Pao Gasol.
Ole' Mitch! That was one Pao-erful move. Badump bump.
I already hear Jackson’s deep bellow, “Fresh water for my horses, and paella for all my men.”
For years, critics have claimed Coach Jackson was too impatient and could never build a team from the ground up or turn around perennial losers like Larry Brown. Well, there’s no one like Coach Brown and newsflash - when he's won, he's had talent. All great coaches need great players. Period.
There is a grain of truth to the fact that Jackson became head coach of the Bulls after owner Jerry Reinsdorf assembled all the players and of course he signed on with the Lakers after former Laker GM Jerry West pulled off the Shaq deal. But to me, his career choices show that in reality, Phil is a good judge of talent, knows what he does best, and is smart enough to choose how to be in the right place at the right time.
He knows when to show 'em and when to fold 'em. Call it Karma. Call it psychic energetic prairie wisdom. Call it whatever you want. The dude’s got good Chi.
But now it’s different. He came back gambling on the franchise that was reeling after an implosion of egos and age. He needed time off to recover from drama overload. He had to have two hips replaced and a heart surgery. He looks more limber, healthy, and fresher then the day he signed on for his first stint with the Purple & Gold Gang back in 1999.
But now it’s different. He came back gambling on the franchise that was reeling after an implosion of egos and age. He needed time off to recover from drama overload. He had to have two hips replaced and a heart surgery. He looks more limber, healthy, and fresher then the day he signed on for his first stint with the Purple & Gold Gang back in 1999.
Way to go Jeanne.
Finally, for Kobe’s sake, the pieces are all there for the new Lake Show. Only it’s going to require some patience in LakerNation because there are some pretty big "IFs." The biggest is IF phenomenal center Andrew Bynum can return to full strength as expected in March. Also, there's IF mercurial Lamar Odom regains his usually reliable shooting touch. And IF slashing defensive ace Trevor “The Razor” Ariza heals his broken foot. And IF Pao Gasol along with his 18 points, 8 rebounds, 1.5 blocks a game can all gel.
Finally, for Kobe’s sake, the pieces are all there for the new Lake Show. Only it’s going to require some patience in LakerNation because there are some pretty big "IFs." The biggest is IF phenomenal center Andrew Bynum can return to full strength as expected in March. Also, there's IF mercurial Lamar Odom regains his usually reliable shooting touch. And IF slashing defensive ace Trevor “The Razor” Ariza heals his broken foot. And IF Pao Gasol along with his 18 points, 8 rebounds, 1.5 blocks a game can all gel.
IF they do - It could be parade time in June again down on Figueroa Street.
As Chicky baby used to say, “The door's closed, the light's out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's getting hard, and the Jell-o's jiggling!
Coaches, like Presidents, are officially the leaders of their people but Jackson is also part riverboat gambler and part nonconformist gunslinger similar to the fictional character in Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler. Except in real life, if Jackson were to hang out with a country star, he'd probably perfer hanging out with Willie Nelson on his bus more then with Kenny in Laughlin or Reno, if you know what I mean.
Coaches, like Presidents, are officially the leaders of their people but Jackson is also part riverboat gambler and part nonconformist gunslinger similar to the fictional character in Kenny Rogers’ song, The Gambler. Except in real life, if Jackson were to hang out with a country star, he'd probably perfer hanging out with Willie Nelson on his bus more then with Kenny in Laughlin or Reno, if you know what I mean.
Irie, mon.
LakerNation, don't forget that you read it here first in The Hustle: If healthy, the Lakers will beat Boston in seven games to become 2008 NBA champions in an classic for the new millennium.
That's right, I believe that, barring injures, the smart money has already shifted onto Jackson and his built-from-the-ground-up, self-nurtured young Laker team. These talented kids will allow Coach Jackson to pull yet another ace from his sleeve and set him alone on the NBA mountaintop for his record 10th championship.
And just to make Red Auerbach rollover in his grave, I predict not only will these young Lakers beat the old but rejuvenated Boston Celtics, but they are nowhere near finished helping P.J. collect more shiny hardware and rings. Yes, these new Lakers are so good that the ZenGambler will not be able to cash in his chips and ride off into the sunset until, well,
I imagine Kenny singing now…
There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins done.
Commander in Chief Phil Jackson might earn yet another nickname – The ZenGambler.
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Remember, please read The Hustle and give peace a chance.
Labels: Lakers, NBA, Phil Jackson, Sports